How to Deal with the Feeling of Being "Behind" in Life

We live in a society where there is enormous pressure on us. There are certain milestones that, if we don’t reach them by a certain age, it feels like we are doomed. Then there’s the comparison: "this person is already doing that," "that person already owns a house," "others have this or that." If we don’t follow a certain imaginary script imposed on us, we are seen as failures. But the truth is, life is not the same for everyone. Each person is born with a different set of cards and has to play according to them.

1. Everyone Has Their Own Timing

Comparing ourselves to others is one of the biggest reasons we feel "behind" in life. But each person has their own journey, their own life experiences, and obstacles to overcome. Instead of comparing ourselves to the "neighbor next door," we should compare ourselves to who we were in the past. Success is different for each of us, and it has no expiration date.

2. Question Imposed Standards

Ask yourself: where does this idea of being "behind" come from? Was it imposed by you, or is it due to external expectations? We need to reflect on this. Often, we follow a path without questioning whether it actually makes sense for us—whether it is what we truly want. Whatever the source of this feeling of being "behind," it is essential to pause and reflect on what truly matters to us, what we want, and what our goals are. Then, adjust your plans according to your values and personal aspirations.

3. Value Progress, Not Just Results

It’s easy to forget where we came from, what we have already achieved, and how far we’ve come. We tend to focus only on the future and what’s left to do to reach "X" point. But every step, every achievement (no matter how small), and even every detour adds to our experience. Our journey is made up of steps forward, backward, sideways—wherever they may go. Celebrate each step taken because those are the ones leading you to where you want to be.

For example, last year was (supposed to be) my final year of university. It didn’t turn out that way. I felt sad and frustrated, but then I stopped and thought about everything I had already done to get there. I had passed all my third-year courses while working part-time. I only failed the final project, which kept me from officially completing my degree. But once I shifted my perspective and focused on what I had already accomplished, I celebrated anyway—I ordered pizza and blew out the candle on my cake (literally, haha). Sometimes, we focus too much on what we haven’t achieved and not enough on what we have.

4. Define Your Own Success

What does success mean to you? For some, it’s having a lot of money; for others, it’s simply achieving financial stability. For some, it’s traveling the world; for others, it’s just living with peace of mind. Whatever your definition is, the most important thing is to discover what truly matters to you. Once you define success for yourself, you start disconnecting from external pressures. Remember—life is a unique journey for each person.

5. Take Care of Your Mental Health

Mental health here, mental health there—blah blah blah. But in reality, it is one of the key pillars of our well-being. The pressure to achieve everything within a certain timeframe can lead to anxiety, burnout, and depression. Practice self-care and self-awareness. Take breaks when needed, breathe deeply, and surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Doing what you love brings joy and helps relieve tension. And don’t dismiss the idea of talking to a professional or going to therapy if that’s what you need at the moment.

6. Enjoy the Present

Life is happening right now. We think too much about the future or dwell on the past. The past cannot be changed—only learned from. The future is yet to come, and while we can prepare for it, the present is where we are. Remember to appreciate small victories and live life without rushing.

There is no such thing as being "behind" when everyone moves at their own pace. Your story is being written in its own time. Trust your journey and value each stage along the way.

What about you? Have you ever felt this way? Share your experience and what you did to overcome it. You might be helping someone who needs it!