I Want to Escape: When the City I Loved No Longer Feels Like Home

I’m not sure if it was from movies and TV shows, but I always wanted to work in a bustling place, make good money, and shop until I dropped. Now, living a bit of the reality of this fast-paced life, it doesn’t appeal to me anymore.

At first, when I started studying in Lisbon and later working, I loved it. There was always something new, time never stopped. The COVID era was when everything changed for me. Time finally stopped. There was no rush, no hustle, nothing. It was about staying home and learning to enjoy the calm and peace (of course, COVID wasn’t good for everyone, but for me, it was an important turning point in my life). Then, when "normal life" returned, I started to despise it. Places became crowded with people, noise, and chaos.

Honestly, I feel like I can’t take much more. Now I’m seeking tranquility. I find myself on Pinterest, saving photos of the ideal home, the ideal life, imagining what it would be like. I want a hybrid, flexible job that pays well, a house in nature with animals, and I still want to shop, but not like before; I don’t want to buy just to buy.

Goals

I no longer dream of visiting capitals like London and Paris; I dream of visiting more rural cities. When I go out to take photos and see too many people, I lose the desire to stay outside, it feels like the day is over right there, I just want to go home. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not antisocial, but perhaps the jobs I’ve had and commuting (especially during rush hour) have drained my social battery.

Maybe this is just growing up, realizing that the dreams we had once upon a time sometimes leave us. Or maybe it’s just the exhaustion of a fast-paced life that no longer makes sense to me. All I know is that now, what makes me dream isn’t the city lights or the frantic pace of the world, but the idea of a place where time is calm, where I can breathe deeply without rushing to get anywhere.